If you knew me 6 years ago, I was a person focus on my career, learning and becoming a better developer, and I still does, but with a little difference, I lied myself that I could start drinking and control it.
Let me tell you something about me, I like control and I have a lot of things in my life under control and the ones I can’t control, I don’t stress about, I don’t care! and that’s it… I love control.
But there’s something about alcohol that allures me, and is not the taste, it was that after a few drinks I could allow myself to lose control and don’t care about it.
And what losing control means?
For me means getting completely emotional and irrational, and there’s nothing wrong about feeling your emotions, emotions are there for a reason, but still emotions need to be rationalized and not every emotion needs a reaction, I like to feel my emotions but I don’t always act based on what I fee, this is called emotional intelligence.
The problem by acting on every emotion under the alcohol effect, is that you don’t feel your emotions in the right way, your mindset is wrong, you can’t even speak clearly, what makes me thing that I can act in the right on my emotions? I don’t know why I never thought about this before, your perception is blurred.
So this was me on alcohol, a bomb of emotions and feelings, sometimes I used to cry, sometimes to be very funny and active, and some experiences were really good, I can’t deny I had good times, but I also took the worst decisions when I was drunk and I lose a lot.
I lost friends, relationships, people I still love, respect from others including family and even coworkers!
So, thank you alcohol for all the good times, but I can’t afford to lose what I love. I already allow myself to lose enough.